Being out of work has been nice, I had the supposed freedom to travel and make my schedule.

Since March of 2019 I have…

• Went to CAPCon
• Drove from Ohio to the Rocky Mountain National park, the Grand Tetons, Yellowstone, and then to Mount Rushmore before coming back home.
• Went to TeddyCon
• Went to the Columbus Zoo several times
• Shot tons of photos
• Taken several road trips as well
• Had the time to spend with my niece and nephew, brother and both parents.

Now it is late December and I need to catch up on what has been happening

In September my brother finally got a much needed heart valve replacement. Both of us have congenital heart defects, each are different. During the time in the waiting room word got out that I too had a heart defect, which I had not followed up with any of the cardiologists at Children’s Hospital in many years (like 20). So that set the wheels in motion for myself to get appointments with the cardiologist and get additional testing.

My first appointment I had a EKG and Echo in addition to meeting the doctor and going over some things. I was sent home with a 24 hour heart monitor along with future appointments.

Remember I said I was unemployed… well I had insurance through the end of 2019, so many of these appointments and testing are being done against that deadline.

The next test was 2 MRI’s with contrast of my head and heart. If you have ever had an MRI you know that they take forever, so 2 in a row takes even longer. Now I am on medication that is a diuretic, so in the mornings I have to pee about every 30 minutes… This is NOT going to be conducive to being stuck in a MRI machine for 3 hours while being pumped full of fluids.

I have a solution for this! Do you know what it is?

So the day of the test comes, I have laid out a plain white Babypants onsie (because it has plastic snaps) and a pair of Reebok pants. I diapered up to the inquiry of my mother “Why are you wearing those things to the hospital” (‘those things’ meaning my diapers). I told her flat out “Because I can, I’m an adult and can wear what I like”

That ended the conversation. I packed a diaper bag up, because i knew i would need a change. I walked around the hospital in just the above attire, I could hear my diaper crinkle, i know it looked like I had one on too. I just don’t care.

I was brave and didn’t cry when they stuck the needle in my arm, even though it really hurt. I made it about 3/4 of the way through the tests and just could not hold it anymore and wet my diaper.

I had to take my onsie off because they have to put all sorts of EKG leads on me, but she let me leave my pants on. I am not sure if she knew i was diapered or not. I am also not sure if this is now in my file that I may have incontinence issues. I guess if it ever comes up I plan on just saying that I have some issues, I am dealing with them the way I want to and don’t want to go further with it.

I had another appointment on December 18 for a stress test and appointment with the doctor. Wore jeans, onsie, t-shirt and diaper this time, but changed into my Reebok pants and just a t-shirt before the stress test. I had to do the stress test topless, so no clue if it was obvious that I was diapered or not. Still just don’t care. Was still in Reebok pants and t-shirt when the doctor came in too.

The doctor said that they may want to do more testing, invasive testing like a heart catheterization to check out the insides of my vessels and see if they may need to in the future revise the graft/patch that is on my aorta. I have already made the decision that if I have to have more testing or surgery done that I am going to wear diapers. Again, I just don’t care; my diapers keep me calm and mentally stable.

I have been tossing around the idea of wearing at my new job, but am unsure as I will have to wear dress pants and dress shirts. I am just not sure if I want the added hassle and stress of being in diapers while working a job that I cannot afford to loose. I have been wearing diapers pretty often since the first of December to the pizza place and practically 24/7… so I don’t know.

This was asked of me by my mom last night.

While my mom is aware of my ABDL side, she does not participate in any way.

So back to the question that was posed to me…..What do you want for Christmas?

Well I’d really love to get rid of the bed that i have that takes darn near my entire bedroom. I’d love to replace it with a crib with a twin sized mattress. I’d love to have a changing table where i can get changed without having my stuffies in the way and without having to get my dirty shoes on the sheets.

Honestly, my room is too small for the changing table, but I’d love to wake up in a crib. Just opening my eyes and looking through those bars.

I’d also like to paint my room a lighter shade of blue than it currently is.

At the end of the day those are simply wishes that may never come true for me, there’s the cost, then the logistics of getting something like that.

Have a Merry Christmas, and any other holiday that you celebrate.

If you have been reading my past few posts you would get the theme that I don’t have a job. Well that has changed twice since TeddyCon. At this exact moment I work for a pizza place doing delivery, but shortly after I got hired there, I got an interview for another call center job. Call center is what I have done basically since I left college in 1999… So it is kinda all I know.

I made the choice when CAP tickets opened up right after TeddyCon that I most likely will not be going. Frankly I don’t have the funds built up at this time (it isn’t cheap going to these Cons.) and I have to be choosy with how I spend vacation time at my new job.

I wish everybody that will attend the best of times, and I will probably be back in 2021. Fingers crossed I will be at TC in 2020